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Caught in Ellie’s Hall

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Every wall is a door.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ellie has written in the past about how sometimes she struggles finding a way forward.  I am at that point right now.  To go back to Ellie’s post, Where the Hell’s the Door Out, I’m stuck in a hall and haven’t got any idea how to get out.

My entire life has been filled with family conflict of one sort or another.  Sometimes it was me conflicting with my parents.  Sometimes it was my parents choosing to attack me or one of my siblings.  Over the last few years, the conflict was with my Continue reading » Caught in Ellie’s Hall

Baby steps

Lots of Little Changes

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Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren’t. But you can’t tell the difference when you have no real information. Fear can create even more imaginary obstacles than ignorance can. That’s why the smallest step away from speculation and into reality can be an amazing relief. The Reality Solution means: Do it before you’re ready.

— Barbara Sher

You and I both know that we have lots of self-improvement projects that we’d like to get to.  But just like our home improvement projects, we don’t have the time or the energy to make the changes that we’d like to make.  Not being able to make the changes we’d like to make, we get discouraged and give up.

Recently, an old idea has been reshaped and moved into a new discipline.  Kaizen – the Japanese word for Continue reading » Lots of Little Changes

frog in a pot 2

Figuring Out How to Make Things Better

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A fierce unrest seethes at the core, of all existing things: it was the eager wish to soar, that gave the gods their wings.

— Don Marquis

Over and over again, in the self-help literature, you read, “It’s all a matter of how you look at it.”  In other words, you can choose a viewpoint which could help you feel better.

While this may be good advice on the surface, it may be ignoring an underlying problem.  If over a long period of time you are finding it hard to accept your life as it is, it’s quite possible that Continue reading » Figuring Out How to Make Things Better

Between 200 Rungs, Both Ways

How to Unfuddle Your In-Betweens

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Feeling frustrated with the in-betweens?

We are a goal-oriented people, and we like to know “where” we are headed–whether it’s by the end of the day or the end or our life. It’s just the in-between that befuddles us.

Terry Hershey

Today is a “moodling day” in which I get to do some enjoyable tinkering and, hopefully, arrive at some creative insights about the “in-betweens,” AKA the “not quite there yets,” also called the second stage of a transition: The Neutral Zone.

I’m starting my moodling session by playing with a silly little prefix named “Peri” – and just in case you wondered, I’m not referring to the mythical and possibly vengeful sprite named Continue reading » How to Unfuddle Your In-Betweens


How to Get UnStuck

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What do you do if you’re stuck in one place and you want to move on?

…both the person who leaves early and the one who stays late are avoiding endings and the discomfort of facing the fact that there is a break of some sort in the continuity of things.

— William Bridges
Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes

Once upon a time a little kid would climb a couple of feet up a chain link fence so he could watch the “big kids” play next door… but he always wore these big clompy tennis shoes with humungous toes that got stuck in the links… after a while the little guy would get bored and decide to climb down – only to find that his shoes were securely stuck… and then he’d start calling out to his empty yard, “Hep… hep… hep…”  Eventually he’d Continue reading » How to Get UnStuck