BouncebackCafe.com » self-talk http://www.bouncebackcafe.com Dedicated to finding useful, resilient solutions to life's adversities. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:03:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Talking to Ourselves http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/talking-to-ourselves-2377 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/talking-to-ourselves-2377#comments Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:01:07 +0000 PattiAnn http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=2377 Everything I have ever done has been in spite of my view of myself. Over time, I’ve learned that by putting the right words in my mind, I can greatly increase my flexibility and creativity. I can improve my view of myself, at least temporarily. Many years ago, when I was working for Big Business, my manager announced ...Continue reading » Talking to Ourselves]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/talking-to-ourselves-2377/feed 0 Standing Room Only… So??? http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/standing-room-only-so-2344 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/standing-room-only-so-2344#comments Tue, 08 Feb 2011 08:01:43 +0000 Ellie http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=2344 How do you define yourself? There was a time – not too long ago – when I told people (and myself) “I don’t do standing-room-only.” Yet just this Sunday I found myself standing because there were no seats available. (I’m still not sure why the 10:30 AM Mass was so crowded, it wasn’t Easter and it wasn’t Christmas but it was standing room only!) Anyway… As I stood there, I realized ...Continue reading » Standing Room Only… So???]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2011/gen/standing-room-only-so-2344/feed 0 What’s NOT Being Said http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/whats-not-being-said-1840 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/whats-not-being-said-1840#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 07:01:24 +0000 Ellie http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=1840 What if you’re only telling yourself the negative side of the story? When I saw the photo that tops this post I thought: I want to feel like that! Powerful, exuberant, graceful, flexible, free. But I don’t. I’m beginning to realize that there’s something more I need to say to myself… there are some missing messages in my self-talk. And while I was wishing I felt like the woman in the photo, I also remembered when, not too very long ago, PattiAnn gave me feedback about my post, I Want to Choose Easy – she said ...Continue reading » What’s NOT Being Said]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/whats-not-being-said-1840/feed 0 How Do You Eat An Elephant? http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/how-do-you-eat-an-elephant-1639 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/how-do-you-eat-an-elephant-1639#comments Wed, 07 Apr 2010 07:01:50 +0000 PattiAnn http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=1639 Triathlon Toulon 2009 (75)Sometimes we think too much. Admittedly we often hear stories that make us wonder if some people ever think, but our predisposition to plan leaves us walking a fine line between thinking, planning and worrying. In his book, Every Day Deserves a Chance, Max Lucado explains the secret to success in any long-term endeavor. You last the long race by running short ones. Don’t swim 2.4 miles; just swim to the buoy. Rather than bike 112 miles, ride 10, take a break, and bike 10 more. Never tackle more than the challenge ahead. When we face challenges, we often talk ourselves out of even trying because we project into the future. We don’t take it buoy-by-buoy or block-by-block or even day-by-day. We look at the expanse of time in front of us and think, ...Continue reading » How Do You Eat An Elephant?]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2010/gen/how-do-you-eat-an-elephant-1639/feed 0 Optimism is as Easy as A-B-C http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/optimism-is-as-easy-as-a-b-c-803 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/optimism-is-as-easy-as-a-b-c-803#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 07:01:10 +0000 Ellie http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=803 DonPattiAnn and I used to be (well I guess we still are) experts on sales and service performance improvement.  That was our niche.  What caused us to shift our focus to resilience?

Going From Hero to Zero

Well, if you are lucky enough to know and love sales or service people, you’re familiar with the daunting tasks they face: they search for and secure elusive new business, soothe the inevitable irate customers, satisfy the demands of anxious managers, overcome all the quirks and foibles of their company’s operational systems and, despite all their dedication and perseverance, they go from hero to zero on the first day of every month! That’s pretty darn discouraging.  So, to serve our customers better, PattiAnn and I hunted for and found better bounceback solutions to help them with their daily heapings of adversities. ...Continue reading » Optimism is as Easy as A-B-C]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/optimism-is-as-easy-as-a-b-c-803/feed 1 You Deserve a Break Today http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/you-deserve-a-break-today-742 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/you-deserve-a-break-today-742#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:01:10 +0000 PattiAnn http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=742 I sure am good looking in my pajamas ... Vintage Picture of a Cute Young Boy Looking at His Reflection in the MirrorOn Saturday, I saw a story in the Washington Post about a couple who met on eHarmony, dated and after a year, married last month. The groom is a paraplegic and my first thought was, “Wow, I could never do that.” My second thought was “but I SHOULD be open to it.” This story had nothing to do with me and upon reflection it occurs to me that I could never do that now because my plate is overflowing with today’s challenges.  Another one would feel like just a bit too much.  But none of that precludes the fact that I went from an initial gut reaction to a judgment.  I believe that for some of us, this is the core of our struggle with resiliency and it all starts with our judging ourselves. ...Continue reading » You Deserve a Break Today]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/you-deserve-a-break-today-742/feed 0 Ellie Just Morphed Into Eeyore – Now What’s That About??? http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/ellie-just-morphed-into-eeyore-now-whats-that-about-700 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/ellie-just-morphed-into-eeyore-now-whats-that-about-700#comments Mon, 31 Aug 2009 07:01:48 +0000 Ellie http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=700 Eeyore warms upWhat looms large in your mind’s eye?  Is it really as big and threatening as it seems?  Or has something in your life magnified your negative perception of the situation? Have you ever been cruising through your day when suddenly you morph into Eeyore, Disney’s affectionately animated and sad-eyed, flop-eared donkey who mopes: “A mostly sunny day, to some, can look a lot like partly gray.” I have.  And, when that happens, IF I notice the shift, I feel angry, helpless, not in control, puzzled, and, frankly, hijacked by circumstances.  How did I get here?  What knocked me so low so suddenly??? ...Continue reading » Ellie Just Morphed Into Eeyore – Now What’s That About???]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/ellie-just-morphed-into-eeyore-now-whats-that-about-700/feed 0 Play It Again, Sam http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/play-it-again-sam-655 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/play-it-again-sam-655#comments Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:01:25 +0000 PattiAnn http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=655 monkey sad / monkey glad 05.04.09 [124]What habitual reactions help you? According to Wikipedia, habits are routines of behavior that tend to occur subconsciously and are repeated regularly.  That seems like a good description of a habit and I’m going to add to it.  I think habits are routines of behavior and thought that tend to occur subconsciously and are repeated regularly.  Subconscious thoughts are thoughts that are there but that we don’t give them our attention.  I am suggesting that we don’t pay enough attention to our thoughts and how we talk to ourselves. ...Continue reading » Play It Again, Sam]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/play-it-again-sam-655/feed 0 Deliberately Finding What Fits So That We Can Snap Out of It and Spin Into Control http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/agg/deliberately-finding-what-fits-so-539 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/agg/deliberately-finding-what-fits-so-539#comments Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:01:18 +0000 PattiAnn http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=539 In life, pain is inevitable, the suffering is optional...Ok, so the title is a little long, I created it to get your attention- that’s what headlines are supposed to do. If you go back and look at the titles this week, you’ll see that I managed to sneak in at least a little bit of most of them. This article is the beginning of a new series that we’re introducing here at BouncebackCafe.com. Although we like to think we know a lot, we actually are just active learners who like to share what we learn. We love ideas, new ones, old ones, reframed ones. Ideas – new to you, as NBC used to say about their reruns – can help us change how we live our lives. Yes, it takes more than just an idea, it takes action, but before the action comes the thought… about the idea. (I think I just went in a circle.) ...Continue reading » Deliberately Finding What Fits So That We Can Snap Out of It and Spin Into Control]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/agg/deliberately-finding-what-fits-so-539/feed 0 Spin Into Control! http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/spin-into-control-520 http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/spin-into-control-520#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:01:09 +0000 Ellie http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/?p=520 Window FrameNah, not that stationary bicycle “Spinning” idiocy – more power to any of you that enjoy it – my body just says “you want me to WHAT???” I’m talkin’ ’bout a different kind of spinning.  In my continuing quest for ways to deal with unexpected and unwelcome aggravations, I offer you spinning – do this after you’ve gone ballistic and snapped out of it – but before you actually leap into action. That’s the time to do a mental walk-around-the-problem looking for new perspectives on the way things are.  Yes, pull out your rose colored glasses.  Like sunglasses, they have their uses.  And aggravation overload is one of those times when rose colored glasses can protect your spirit from the gloomie-rays. ...Continue reading » Spin Into Control!]]> http://www.bouncebackcafe.com/2009/gen/spin-into-control-520/feed 0