BouncebackCafe.com » reframe

How to Unfuddle Your In-Betweens

Ellie — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:01:48 +0000

Today is a “moodling day” in which I get to do some enjoyable tinkering and, hopefully, arrive at some creative insights about the “in-betweens,” AKA the “not quite there yets,” also called the second stage of a transition: The Neutral Zone. I’m starting my moodling session by playing with a silly little prefix named “Peri” – and just in case you wondered, I’m not referring to the mythical and possibly vengeful sprite named ...Continue reading » How to Unfuddle Your In-Betweens

Embracing the Gift of a Helping Hand

Ellie — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 08:01:31 +0000

Do you find it hard to accept help when it’s offered? I do. As I bask in the sweetness of the photo above, I realize that there is something very touching about how this little-girl-in-blue bestows her quiet trust upon the protective grown-up who walks beside her. She’s obviously not entangled in the terrible two’s, the “ME do it” stage in life! Ah! If – only us grumps – that would be “grown-ups” – could so easily accept help when ...Continue reading » Embracing the Gift of a Helping Hand

When Coulda-Woulda-Shoulda’s Seize Your Brain

Ellie — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 08:01:04 +0000

What do YOU do when a case of the coulda-woulda-shoulda’s seize your brain? Shortly after the holidays I experienced a minor but very satisfying victory. Sometimes it’s BIG stuff that throws me for a loop. Sometimes it’s little teeny stuff that throws me for a loop. This time it was the latter… here’s my story:

Late on a post-Christmas evening, just before the stores closed, I was driving from one store to another feeling quite smug about the complicated transaction I’d just navigated. (Returning merchandise, finding just the right replacement, using up a frequent-buyer award before its expiration date… all in all, getting a very good deal for my trouble.)

When it hit me like a brick – I’d forgotten to ask for the senior discount! Compound that stupid mistake with the fact that the only reason I’d ventured out amidst the after-holiday retail melee was because it was senior discount day!

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Thus began this silly sashaying debate:

...Continue reading » When Coulda-Woulda-Shoulda’s Seize Your Brain

Is It Adversity or Is It Life?

PattiAnn — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:01:20 +0000

Remember that commercial – “Is it real or is it Memorex?” They would usually have an opera singer hitting a really high note and breaking a glass and then play the recording of the singer and break another glass. It was a way to show the true fidelity of the recording. I’ve been noticing how much we, as a society, have been talking about our troubles. Have you noticed? We talk about what bothers us more than we talk about what pleases us. There’s been a lot of conversation about how bad things are economically and how the Baby Boomers won’t have the retirement that they expected. It seems that we’re on a perpetual downer around here. The conclusion that I’ve reached is that somehow, we’ve decided that problems aren’t part of life, which is why we get soooo bent out of shape when a problem turns up. I blame it on the Declaration of Independence. ...Continue reading » Is It Adversity or Is It Life?

Three Ways to Quiet Worries that Burrow Up in the Night

Ellie — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:01:31 +0000

The other night I tossed and turned, got up, went back to bed, got a cup of tea, checked my email (sheezzz!), watched the weather station, drifted back to sleep and… awakened, again as worry after worry ricocheted against the edges of my messy mind. What a waste of good sleeping time! Not to mention brain power. These days, I’ve plodded forward “doing what needs to be done” to set various affairs to right. And I’ve intentionally avoided some big ones. Why? Well, I suppose because I could, because I was pretty sure there would be no harm done in the delay, because I just wasn’t up to tackling them. Then, the day before my sleepless night, I forayed into one of those important but not urgent tasks that I’d been avoiding. I’d figured out a few “baby steps” (as PattiAnn advised in a recent post) and felt I could do these little bits, no problem. Well, it turns out, almost no problem, because blithely and unwittingly, I stepped into a molehill. And stumbled in the night as fears burrowed up into my consciousness, some frivolous, some formidable, all stomping about my sleepy mind, waking me so I could worry-worry-worry. And so I fretted about: ...Continue reading » Three Ways to Quiet Worries that Burrow Up in the Night

Play It Again, Sam

PattiAnn — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:01:25 +0000

What habitual reactions help you? According to Wikipedia, habits are routines of behavior that tend to occur subconsciously and are repeated regularly. That seems like a good description of a habit and I’m going to add to it. I think habits are routines of behavior and thought that tend to occur subconsciously and are repeated regularly. Subconscious thoughts are thoughts that are there but that we don’t give them our attention. I am suggesting that we don’t pay enough attention to our thoughts and how we talk to ourselves. ...Continue reading » Play It Again, Sam

Distance Yourself from Your Worries

Ellie — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 07:01:41 +0000

Experiment with distancing yourself from your worries and let us know how this works for you. Have you ever found yourself stewing over something that happened and didn’t go well for you? Berating yourself because you blew it big time and you’re mortified remembering what you said or did? Castigating yourself for your oh-so inappropriate reactions? ...Continue reading » Distance Yourself from Your Worries