BouncebackCafe.com » letting go

I Need a Time Out

Ellie — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 07:01:40 +0000

I need a Time Out… No, I haven’t been a bad girl. I’ve just temporarily lost my connection to the topic of Transitions. My server is down… in my last three posts I explored Stage I - Letting Go, and Stage II - the Neutral Zone… I’ve been befuddled, bedazzled and creative and I’m just not ready – in oh so many ways – for contemplating and ...Continue reading » I Need a Time Out

How to Get UnStuck

Ellie — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 07:01:05 +0000

Once upon a time a little kid would climb a couple of feet up a chain link fence so he could watch the “big kids” play next door… but he always wore these big clompy tennis shoes with humungous toes that got stuck in the links… after a while the little guy would get bored and decide to climb down – only to find that his shoes were securely stuck… and then he’d start calling out to his empty yard, “Hep… hep… hep…” Eventually he’d ...Continue reading » How to Get UnStuck

Can You See Me?

Ellie — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 07:01:32 +0000

Can you see the man standing by the earth mover in the photo that heads this post? Look again very carefully, there by the wheel… STILL can’t see him? Try looking for his feet, just behind the shovel and in front of the wheel and then let your eyes travel up to his hat at the top of the lettering... Ahhhhhhhh. Now you see him, yes? Amazingly, artist/photographer Liu Bolin wants to become invisible! He plans meticulously, and then with the help of assistants, he paints himself to blend into whatever scenery he plans to photograph. I, on the other hand am not so sure I want to ...Continue reading » Can You See Me?

Holding On

Ellie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 07:01:43 +0000

In my last post I ruminated about “Guarding”. Today I’m still thinking about that but I’m looking at it from a different perspective. You see, lately I’ve noticed that I often sit with my arms tightly folded and I’ve excused myself by saying I was cold. But now I think not. I think at some semi-conscious level I’m holding myself together, protecting myself from falling apart… If you will, I’m just practicing another form of guarding. Lagging Behind I feel like I’m lagging behind my expectations. PattiAnn would probably tell me I’m being too hard on myself. And maybe I am. Still, I feel like I’m stuck on a plateau – languishing, going neither up nor down, wandering about the edges of here and now. I can’t return to the old “norm” and I haven’t yet carved out handholds for scaling the “new” norm. I’m in the dreaded “in-between”… (Hmmm, have I just coined a new “stage” in life, sorta like being a “pre-teen”?) About a month ago I wrote in my journal: I think I’m exiting this grieving tunnel. Not sure. But at least for the moment, feeling whole and thinking about priorities and goals and future. Looking backward still, but in a different way than before. Trying hard to do it with affection and joy instead of loss and sadness. Mostly that’s working. Now all I have to do is simply… what? Get on with my life. Oh. That’s all. Yikes. ...Continue reading » Holding On

Just Baggage Enough

Ellie — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 08:01:22 +0000

Are you carrying around excess baggage? How do you know what’s “just enough”? As I contemplate these last few days of 2009, I’ve been thinking about this last year, and in anticipation of next year’s adventure, I’ve started wondering about all the baggage I’m carrying with me. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago we took our young family backpacking into the rugged California High Sierras where we enjoyed relative solitude, clear mountain lakes, running springs and every once in a while, the treat of a hot springs dip. It was amazing! We didn’t do this just once, we did it several times. (Yeah, we were a bit daft. But we sure had fun!) Experts advise – carry only what you need. Oh boy, are they right about that! We quickly learned, as we organized the family troop for our high sierra treks, ounces add up. Figuring out how to ...Continue reading » Just Baggage Enough

Busy, Busy Days on the Way to Letting Go

Ellie — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:01:23 +0000

For the recent holiday weekend I proclaimed myself a four-day-weekend and set about doing a myriad of tasks that used to be either “he or we” projects, never mine alone… I was busy, busy, busy. I was “letting go”.

Letting Go Ain’t for the Faint of Heart

Letting go takes a lot of work and determination. It’s MUCH easier to just let things be. But I knew that moving on, transitioning “from we to me”, required doing “what don’t come easy”… and I, not someone else, needed to do the choosing: keep or let go?

It Was a Close Call

There was a point when I despaired of ever making any decisions, I just couldn’t bear to let go of anything no matter what it was. So how’d I power through? ...Continue reading » Busy, Busy Days on the Way to Letting Go

Using Hope to Mend Our Lives

PattiAnn — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:01:34 +0000

Today, we got a new kitten. Actually, we didn’t choose to get a kitten. He (unnamed at this point) seems to have gotten separated from his mother, possibly by a coyote. One of the neighbors heard him crying early this morning because he had climbed into the nice, warm engine compartment of a nearby car. After trying to get him to leave the car by turning on the engine, they finally had to sound the horn to get him to give up his “safe” place. Sometimes, when you need a writing inspiration, God provides. Here is this darling kitten, so small we’re not sure that ...Continue reading » Using Hope to Mend Our Lives

NOT What I Had Planned

Ellie — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 07:01:25 +0000

When I’m feeling melancholy, I soothe my battered soul listening to Meat Loaf’s CD, Bat Out of Hell II: Back into Hell. And to paraphrase the lyrics:

There was a time when I knew just what I was living for…
There was a time and the time was NOT so long ago.

Earlier this week I advocated turning a blind eye to the flaws in broken and damaged works of art… choosing instead to relish the beautiful imperfections that abound in our lives. And, YES, as you might have surmised, I wrote that post, Broken But Beautiful, as a message from me to myself. I folded it up, stuffed it in this blog – and sent it out with the tide, hoping my inner critics would walk upon the sands of time and get the message.

And STILL there’s this voice SHOUTING in my brain – THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED! I need a “pop-up blocker” in my head that prevents the willy nilly appearance of

...Continue reading » NOT What I Had Planned

Wistful Memories of a Secret Garden

Ellie — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:01:17 +0000

Sometimes, as a way of relaxing and letting go of the worries of the day, I listen to a guided imagery recording. The faceless voice, accompanied by soothing music, encourages me to imagine a “special place” where I can relax and refresh my spirit. Here’s the story of my secret garden… Legend has it that once upon a time, nestled up in the foothills at the end of a paved city road where it turned into a rough and potholed dirt track, past the abandoned kids’ camp and the rusting reservoir tank, there was a flower nursery. They say that bulbs planted by the nursery owner appear every year, row upon row of sweet blooming narcissus. And I’m here to tell you, it’s true, it’s true! ...Continue reading » Wistful Memories of a Secret Garden