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Resilient Means Taking Care of You

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Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

— Groucho Marx

Somehow, we’ve gotten it into our heads that resilient people are never down, never sad, always up for a challenge, and capable of leading the rest of us out of our funk into the sunshine.  If that’s the definition of resilient, it ain’t me.

Although there are people who seem to always be up, we need to remember that some people are just blessed with a sunny disposition – dang them!  One of my good friends is like that.  Very seldom is she down or even subdued.  This is good and bad.  There are times when I would like to Continue reading » Resilient Means Taking Care of You

Mourning

Healing Kindness

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A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.

— Joseph Joubert

Where I grew up, a good old fashioned Catholic wake was the norm.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the tradition, a wake usually consisted of the presence of the casket in a viewing room; a kneeler in front of the casket so prayers could be said, a short conversation of condolence with family members and a Rosary led by a priest.  If the person hadn’t died in an awful accident leaving them unfit to be seen, the casket was open.

I’m sure that this tradition probably evolved from the older tradition of Continue reading » Healing Kindness

Crying Giant

It’s OK to Be Sad AND It’s OK to be Glad

Creative Commons LicensePhoto credit: Tom Otterness by PBoGS
When you get bad news, it’s OK to be sad… but then, what?

You wake up in the morning and you want to hide under your blanket, wishing it was still night and you did not have to face another day. …What’s going on? Maybe you have had recent grief in the family, or you are dealing with a separation, with sickness or with financial problems. Maybe there is just no particular reason…You just wake up and it’s there. The sadness. The worry. The fear.

Suburp Blogger

Sadness is simply one of the ways we process bad news. The news I’m struggling to process is not my news, but that of dear friends… Continue reading » It’s OK to Be Sad AND It’s OK to be Glad

A Funeral Flag, American Veteran Soldier, The Red, White, and Blue, Stars and Stripes, Patriotic, Memorial Day 2009, Cemetery

Growing Up Means Figuring Out How to Do the Hard Stuff

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It’s so curious:  one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.

— Colette

Last week, one of the women at work lost her 93 year old grandmother.  It wasn’t entirely unexpected and they had been very close since my friend was a little girl.  Expected or not, when someone we care about dies, it is always difficult.

Sending a sympathy card or note is what we do when a friend suffers a loss.  That’s why Hallmark was invented, to help us say what we don’t know how to say ourselves.  When a friend loses someone close to them, we instinctively want to provide comfort.  For me, what I want is to Continue reading » Growing Up Means Figuring Out How to Do the Hard Stuff

The Consequences of Keeping Secrets

shhhh.....I saw Mickey beside me
Creative Commons License photo credit: Lohb

Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested.

— Elizabeth I

If we’re lucky, aging is a learning process.  We all age, but we don’t all learn.  Sometimes our ability to learn is determined by our willingness to see things in a new light.

All of us eventually face the decline and death of our parents.  My mother died of Alzheimer’s in 2005.  As you are probably aware if you are a frequent reader of this blog, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in December of last year.  In addition to Alzheimer’s, Dad has also been diagnosed with bipolar disease.  The health care professionals involved in his care reached this diagnosis partially based on Continue reading » The Consequences of Keeping Secrets