What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.
— Tenzin Gyatso
14th Dalai Lama
As wonderful as the holidays can be, they can also be exhausting. By the time I get through Christmas, I’m so worn out that I have a very hard time even considering making resolutions. I have to rest up or I feel completely unable to do anything but put my head down and just keep moving.
This year, as I head for my big X0th birthday (I’m not telling), I’ve decided to try something different. I want to be happier with my life. I’m getting way too old to wait for someday, so this is the year of building a healthier and happier me.
I’m inviting you to join me on this journey. I’m not sure where it’s going to take me but I’m beginning today. Would you like to join me? I’d love to have you come along. I’m starting with my whine list – by defining what works for me and what doesn’t.
What stops us from being happy?
I know that part of what stops me is that at certain times, I whine – to myself, of course – about all the things that aren’t exactly to my liking. You probably have a “whine list” too –reasons that you are unhappy – or at least, not as happy as you want to be. It’s probably not a huge feeling, just something that weighs you down – telling you that you’re not really happy. So, before we go any further with this post, do me a favor and make a list of the things that are making you unhappy today. Continue reading » Happily Flourishing
Won’t you be my neighbor?
— Fred Rogers
Growing up in Chicago, I lived in a nice neighborhood. At least I thought it was nice. The thing was that we didn’t really know our neighbors. The people who lived directly to the North of us had the only garage in the neighborhood and they could go in and out through the garage without having to talk to anyone. The front of their house opened out on Fargo, so we never saw them… except for the time that the woman put the car in drive and drove into the house instead of out of the garage.
Most of the kids went to Hebrew school after regular school so they couldn’t come out and play during most of the school year. So, we really didn’t get to Continue reading » Families of Choice
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
— Woody Allen
Do you ever find it difficult to be grateful? I do. Despite the fact that I know that I have much to be grateful for, I manage to feel disgruntled much of the time. This is unfortunate because one of the practices that consistently results in feeling better is gratitude.
I find it interesting that we call it the practice of gratitude. It reminds me of practicing law, or practicing medicine or practicing dentistry. We often talk about how the people in those professions Continue reading » Glad to Be Me
Does your world view serve you?
A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong.
— Thomas Szasz
Our whole life, we are working towards the goal of integrating our view of the world with reality. Some might say (usually therapists) that our pain comes from our attempts to make reality conform to our beliefs:
- People are kind
- Institutions work for the good of their members and/or the people they serve
- There is right and wrong – black and white, no shades of gray
- Life is fair
- We get what we deserve
In reality, life is a constant progression towards the ability to live with shades of gray. As kids, we’re taught to Continue reading » Adulthood
No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it.
— Henry Ward Beecher
After my post on being cheerful, a friend of mine decided that being cheerful was a good idea. For a couple of days, she bopped along and then, on the third day she said, “I don’t know what’s wrong – I’m losing steam on being cheerful.” When I asked how she was putting her new cheerfulness into practice she told me that she kept telling herself to Continue reading » Acting As If You are Full of Cheer
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