Room to Grow : BouncebackCafe.com

Room to Grow

January 4, 2011 - Posted by Ellie

Photo credit: oddsock

This post is part of the ChronicBabe.com Blog Carnival hosted by Jenni Prokopy.

How will you make the most of your 2011?

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.

— Ellen Goodman

During these early days of 2011 I find myself beguiled by a lingering holiday enchantment:

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

— Charles Dickens

And, under the influence of this post-Christmas haze, I’m walking through my life, room by room… looking for potential, looking for room to grow. I’m intentionally putting my attention toward those things that – in my childhood and beyond – have made my heartstrings sing and propelled me to grow forward with good intent and gusto.

Playhouse of My Mind

This is where you will win the battle – in the playhouse of your mind.

— Maxwell Maltz

I’ve become a fan of the HGTV home improvement programs – if nothing else, the shows make good background noise while I do my everyday ’puter duties… the drone of the TV creates the illusion of not being alone. And, better still, the projects tackled and completed by the HGTV celebs encourage my creative self to believe that I might actually embark on my own ambitious renovation projects – metaphorically and literally – body, soul, hearth and home… a little of all would be dandy!

But just as holiday hoopla can mess with our sense of realities, so too many of these home improvement shows are deceiving – imagine an unfinished basement magically transformed from awful to wonderful in a mere 30 minutes for a pittance! Viewers are left marveling, “Why, I could do that! Piece of cake!”

Actually, one of my favorite couples believed the hype and embarked on redoing their family room floor. And being quite capable DIYers, they created an excellent outcome. As luck would have it they later met the TV show host and bragged on their accomplishment. To which he exclaimed in astonishment, “You actually tried that??? It’s really hard to do!” So much for truth in advertising.

But mostly, like the reality shows that abound, home improvement shows are simply good drama.

Reality TV Ain’t Real

Life rarely delivers achievement in 30 minute segments. Unlike the drama of “Reality TV”, real life is often filled with the ho-hum of advances so small they feel like stasis: of two steps forward and, if we’re lucky, only one step backwards. It often feels as though we’re simply standing in place. In the slow-motion progression of 2011’s 365 days, what will make the difference between success and “oh well, it seemed like a good idea at the time”? I think Benjamin Disraeli got it right when he said:

The secret of success is constancy of purpose.

So what is that exactly? Well Coach Jen tells her readers:

Constancy of Purpose is maintaining a focus on your goal and your long term vision – NO MATTER WHAT. It’s falling and getting back up, it’s going around, under or through… it’s drive and desire that is unmatched by anything in your life. No Matter What.

…you don’t need a personal life-struggle to reach deep and believe in that. All you need is a goal, a desire to be a part of this amazing and intricately complex puzzle of humanity, a desire to make an impact with your life.

…Some days are harder than others, of course. But you have to know what it is you are fighting for before you can know that you want to fight.

…What is your purpose, your desire and passion in life? What gets you out of bed in the morning with the determination to leave a legacy? What is the fire in your gut that makes you go to the end and back of your emotional, physical and mental strength…

When we have a sense of the “why’s” that motivated us to start, when we are mobilized by our heartstrings, that’s when we’ll have the courage to work our way through the adversities that plague real life. That’s when, despite setbacks, we’ll eventually propel ourselves, day by day, all the way to “look-what-I-did-success”! Buck Owens knew why he worked and strived and sacrificed to be successful:

That was where my dream began to take hold, of not havin’ to pick cotton and potatoes, and not havin’ to be uncomfortable, too hot or too cold. That in itself had driven me to try to find some better way of life.

Tap Your Inner Detective…

But what if we no longer know what motivates us? What if we’ve lost sight of what our purpose is or should be? What if our heartstrings just don’t sing – or, worse still, what if they’re blasting us with dissonance??? Well, that’s when the trials and tribulations of our lives can tempt us to wonder if it’s worth the pain, the angst, the disappointments, the Sisyphean challenge of starting again and again:

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was a king punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity.

— Wikipedia.org

Well, I would suggest that when we’re feeling like Sisyphus (frequently my state of mind) perhaps one of author Robert D. Parker’s common-sense dialogues can help us figure what to do next:

Being a detective is mostly about not knowing, and asking and looking until you do know, at least something.

— Private Investigator Sunny Randall
from Melancholy Baby

So, my dear readers, despite my doubts and insecurities about my future and my purpose, despite my puzzlement about how I want my 2011 to evolve, I will do this: Ask and look and learn until I “know” something.

And as I walk through the rooms of my life, I’m going to be asking about and looking for potential. I’ll do my best to look away from the flaws that attract my eye and, instead, concentrate on the possibilities that pull my heartstrings. Then, bolstered by a new sense of purpose I will keep my resolution-setting inclinations on a short leash by setting one day and one week mini-resolutions instead of oodles of maxi-resolutions for the whole year.

I assure you, there will be lots of daily resolutions that promote my wellness of body, soul, relationships and finances… but my constancy of purpose will remain: Ask, look, and learn something about “room to grow” for me and those whom I touch or who touch me.

Last but not least, this year I’ll carry this quote as talisman:

All the principles of heaven and earth are living inside you. Life itself is truth, and this will never change. Everything in heaven and earth breathes. Breath is the thread that ties creation together.

— Morihei Ueshiba