Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.

— Paul Tournier

Wikipedia defines a chronic condition as a disease or other human health condition that is persistent or long-lasting in nature.  It can be discouraging and sometimes we can feel that the “condition” controls more of our lives than we do.

For example:  In the spring and the fall, my allergies can be a real challenge.  My head gets stuffed.  I have trouble thinking.  I have trouble sleeping.  Bending over to pick up doggie output can cause me to come close to falling over.  Turning my head quickly can have me weaving my way down the hall.  None of these are overwhelming, they’re just long-term annoying… and discouraging… and, if they go on long enough – depressing.

For years, I have spent spring and fall exhausted.  My allergies leave me sleepy during the day after a full night’s sleep.  I’ve survived by dragging myself through the week and then “over-sleeping” on the weekend.  It’s one of the reasons I stay at home more than going out to have fun, I’m just too tired and I need to get ready for the next week. (First born, hyper-responsible)

This year things are different.  I’m tired, but I can’t sleep.  I struggle to bring air in and the struggle keeps me from falling deeply asleep.  I wake myself up snoring.  Add menopausal insomnia to the mix and… well, I feel very out of control.

It’s Not All Physical

There are other conditions that also fall into the chronic condition category.  Dyslexia is something that doesn’t go away.  The person who has it must solve the puzzle of how to successfully navigate in a world highly dependent on the written word.

David Boies is an attorney who is dyslexic and yet is one of the top attorneys in the country.  He defended IBM in the anti-trust case brought by the Justice Department (in the ‘70s), Vice President Gore in Bush v. Gore, and the Justice Department in the case against Microsoft.  He excels in a world of written words.

Another person who has succeeded greatly despite his chronic condition is Martin E.P. Seligman.  A natural pessimist, he is the father of positive psychology.  His mission in life has been to enhance life by helping people to build a solid base of positivity to work from.  In his book, Authentic Happiness, he admits that he has a tendency to pessimism.  Every day he must use the mood improvement techniques he has discovered so that he can continue to succeed at his life’s work.  Talk about real motivation…

Control What You CAN Control

One of the challenges of a chronic condition is that it has more control over our lives than we would prefer.  When I wake up with a sinus migraine, it changes my day entirely.  I must focus on how to minimize the headache to a point where it isn’t an issue in my ability to get to work, participate in meetings and get back home.  I must choose to put energy into dealing with a condition I wish I didn’t have to begin with.

One of my personal challenges is accepting rather than resisting.  Let me explain.  My headache is a fact.  My emotional reaction is that it’s unfair. (Hear the whine?)  So, I resist.  In my head, I bitch and moan about how lousy I feel.  Why do I have these horrible allergies?  Why can’t I just be normal? (I use this question for lots of stuff, not just allergies.)  I would’ve been _______________ (fill in the blank, President of the USA, a cheerleader, thin, etc.) if I just didn’t have these allergies. (More whine – anyone have some cheese to go with the whine/wine?)

The fact is that I am wasting valuable energy debating my lot in life with… ME??!  It’s not as if God is going to change what is.  Who am I talking to?  What do I think will happen?  Nothing will change unless I change it.  And more than that, this isn’t a permanent condition.  If I work at clearing my head, my headache will retreat.  It may not be my fault that I have it, but it is my responsibility to treat it.

A Better Way

The more I fight it, the worse I feel.  And this is where I can take control.  I can’t change what’s blowing in the wind, but I can do my best to help my body minimize its reaction to what’s blowing in the wind.  I can consciously relax my face.  I can make sure that I promptly take the meds designed to help me minimize the effect of the allergens.  I can positively expect that it will get better.

Seligman found that the same was true of pessimism.  He couldn’t change his genetic predisposition to pessimism, but he could choose to be aware of it and gently correct his tendency towards negativity.  By knowing what to do, he could influence the effect of his chronic condition.  No, it will never entirely go away, but he can be conscious that his negative expectations are more habitual than real and he can take the appropriate steps to minimize their influence on his life.

Maybe you have something that you’ve struggled with for years.  Maybe you fight it.  Consider trying another approach.  If it’s been around for a long time, it could be chronic.  Accepting that might be the first step towards solving your problem.