photo credit: chaunceydavis818

Illness is the most heeded of doctors:  to goodness and wisdom we only make promises, pain we obey.

— Marcel Proust

This morning I woke up at 3:45.  This was not because I was so enthused I couldn’t wait to take on the day, it was because I was having a yucky coughing fit.  My next door neighbors, who if it was worth the effort should be committed, get up every workday morning at about this time.  Even the husband who has been retired for 18 months gets up at 4:00ish.  To stay busy and fund his golf habit, he has a job at Macy’s helping people in the men’s department.  Although he regularly volunteers for the early shift, they seem to mostly give him the 6:30 to 9:30 (closing) shift.  Since his preference is to eat dinner early and go to bed around 7:00 – 7:30, this is the height of brilliance in making the most of your employees.  Being a really nice guy, despite this weird fetish for early morning, he often puzzles over the ways of management. (I would probably just swear.  I’m not nearly as “nice.”)

The good news is that because I was up so early, I was able to look at my investments and decide that since the pre-market was so strong in one of my positions I would put in an order “just in case.”  Translated this means that since the market closed yesterday my stock was up about 3% – which since it was pre-market could be significant or it could be nothing. (Isn’t that always the way in life?)  ANYWAY, I put in a ridiculously high order to sell – just in case – and when I had succeeded in getting the cough down to a dull roar, I shut off the alarm and went back to sleep.  Hallelujah!!!

What Motivates You – Bah Humbug!!!

In our first post of the year, Ellie asked “What motivates you?”  Answering that question is fine if you’re “ready” for the challenge of a new year.  If, on the other hand, you’d like to pull the covers over your head and hide, that question just makes you feel worse and that’s how I’m feeling as we head into the new year.

First, let me acknowledge that feeling like hiding is not my usual reaction to adversity.  Yes, sometimes I do get overwhelmed, but usually it lasts for a relatively short period of time – hours, not days.  So, I intellectually know that this will probably pass soon and my normally “can-do” attitude will reassert itself.  But in the meantime, what do I do?

Second, I realize that there is a large physical component to how I’m feeling.  Every year around this time, I tend to pick up a bug.  Last year it was the flu.  This year, it’s a nasty cold.  I have two theories as to why I get sick every year at this time.  One, my sister and her family come into town from distant climes bringing new bugs with them.  Two, the stress of family togetherness reduces my immunity and I catch something.  Since this holiday season was more stressful than usual (more on that in another post), I’m probably lucky I don’t have pneumonia.

Whatever the reason for my annual “sick,” my answer to Ellie’s question is a great big “NOTHING.”  Right now, there is NOTHING that motivates me… which just makes me feel worse.

This Too Shall Pass

The good (or bad) news is that, motivated or not, life goes on.  I’m still coughing like one of my lungs would like to escape through my throat and I still have WAAAY too much to do.  For me, the secret to survival seems to be reminding myself that for now, I can’t do as much as I usually do.  I need to sleep whenever my body will allow it.  I need to trust that if I take care of myself, I will feel better – both physically and emotionally.

We humans are amazingly complex creatures.  Our emotional and physical health are closely linked.  For me, solving problems usually consists of figuring out what I need to do and getting to work.  Since I don’t have the energy to really get to work, I feel more than discouraged.  I feel hopeless.  Before I can feel better, I need to get better.

This may all seem self-evident to you – and to some extent it seems that way to me.  The problem is actually accepting the truth of the situation.  I know in my head that when I get better I’ll feel better.  In my heart, I ain’t so sure.  So, I must step out in faith – let go and let God.  I don’t have the energy to do anything else anyway, so why not?  I’ll let you know how it goes.

P.S.  My early morning trade was successful.  Yay!!!