Oops… How’d That Happen??? : BouncebackCafe.com

Oops… How’d That Happen???

January 6, 2010 - Posted by Ellie

What life-lessons have you discovered out of past “mistakes”?

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.

— Mel Brooks

Dizzy or Ditzy?

I’m dizzy, dizzy, dizzy with all the stupid little mistakes that I keep perpetuating – misplaced (or lost) keys, cell, hands-free device, chargers, paperwork, passwords, …la-la-la …you name it, I’ve misplaced it in the not too distant past. These “missing items” prey upon my brain, reminding me:

It has to be here somewhere, find it, find it, find it.
(Almost as mind-bending as the messages emanating from that last piece of fudge in the pantry…)

I used to brag that I “might look unorganized but I can get my hands on ‘whatever’ in minutes, it’s a visual system that works for me.” Well that was then, this is my new now – a disorganized mindscape.

And I’ve been bashing myself with post-mortems on all my many mistakes… How could I have not paid attention to where I put that? Why didn’t I put it in a safer place – more convenient, more consistent, yada yada??? I don’t remember ever being quite this ditzy.

Then again, my world is spinning – yeah, like that excuse is gonna fly. Uh-uh, not a chance. Back in July I posted Spinning into Control in which I wrote:

Here’s the deal… What experience would you like to have? In many ways, it’s up to you how you experience unwelcome and unexpected aggravations. No, you can’t control the world or most of what happens in it. But you can control how you respond to unwelcome and unexpected aggravations. So choose to put as positive a spin on it as you can.

A New Call to Action

So this is me putting a positive spin on all the times I’ve “lost” something and searched and searched… I’m throwing out the self-flagellation and adopting a new call to action:

Never say, “Oops.”

Always say, “Ah, interesting.”

— Anonymous

And, drawing on another book from my library, Setting Your Heart on Fire by Raphael Cushnir, I’m going to try something that will be a bit of a stretch for me. Cushnir extends the invitation:

Live like you were dreaming…

(Brings to mind the oldie but goodie: Life could be a dream, sha-boom…) Musical accompaniment aside, Cushnir advises:

A recurring dream is usually a call for attention from your unconscious. Until you get the message the dream will likely continue. To get the message you don’t take the dream at face value but instead seek out its deeper meaning… just as a recurring dream compels you to stop, to investigate, so, too, does a troubling pattern of events.

The gift of a pattern, once you’re willing to explore it, is that it calls you to something beyond your awareness. And what your exploration reveals, almost always, is a long-neglected emotional shutdown.

Uh oh. That seems ominous.

I’ll dwell on that awhile and see what happens. Perhaps I’ll accept Cushnir’s invitation to live like I’m dreaming and I’ll explore the edges of beyond.

Ok, here it goes – down the rabbit hole into the dreamscape…

It’s about FEAR

And, suddenly I know. It’s not about being ditzy. It’s not about lost keys.

It’s about a sinking ship… Fear has wrapped its fist around my heart: I’m afraid I can’t count on me to do this on-my-own-it’s-up-to-me role. I am afraid the ship is sinking ’cuz the captain ain’t up to the mission.

And so, in many small ways, I’m cycling inside a self-fulfilling-prophecy – over and over I’m acting out this larger fear by going ditzy, out of character, out of sync… I’m misplacing “important” items I feel I can’t function without. And then I’m trying to solve the “lost items problem” with quick fixes that somehow just don’t quite fix the problem. It’s as if I’m telling myself, via this pattern of losing things:

See, just as I thought, I can’t count on you to keep it together… you can’t even keep track of these little things much less a whole new life!

And perhaps what I need to do is lean into this fear… to heed the advice of Susan Jeffers, PhD and “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” I need to ease back into knowing that I can do this. After all, I’ve done it before – different story, same basic plot:

Woman makes good in new and challenging role that she hasn’t tried before; she doesn’t know how she’ll succeed but she knows she can figure it out, she’ll find a way.