photo credit: Niffty..

Don’t be yourself, be someone a little nicer.

— Mignon McLaughlin

One of the things that Ellie and I do to improve and expand this blog is to wander (others surf, we wander) the internet searching for people and ideas that we can introduce to you.  This weekend, I found an article with a different view of the “small stuff” of life.  The author is a wife, mother, blogger and psychology student.  She was reflecting on her weekend and the oft quoted, “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff.  Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” (Richard Carlson)

In her post Sometimes It Is the Small Stuff, Cyndi says:

It occurred to me that day that I don’t like this quote anymore. It simply isn’t realistic or true. At least not as applied to marriage or any long term relationship. Life is lived mostly in the small stuff. Sure, there are major marital problems that can end a marriage. But many marriages live and die in the small stuff.

I think she has hit on a bit of wisdom here.  Often, when we think about the small stuff, we like to dismiss it.  We may be wrong.

The Small Stuff of Life

Scientists keep discovering more and more small stuff.  When we were kids – at least some of us – the nucleus of the atom was the smallest thing we knew about.  Since then, scientists have discovered quarks and nano-bits and who knows what else.

When Richard Carlson originally wrote those two sentences about small stuff, he was helping us to not get lost in the nits and lice.  He was saying, don’t let all this little stuff drive you crazy, live a larger life.  It’s an admirable sentiment especially when we’re melting down about having lost our keys one more time.  But, like most things in life, there’s another side to the “small stuff” issue.

When Cyndi says “Life is lived mostly in the small stuff,” she’s referring to the little things that can derail or enrich a marriage or any relationship.  She’s writing about the little kindnesses that help keep busy people connected and appreciative of one another.  Those kindnesses are the grease that help families get through life.  In the absence of small kindnesses, we become separate people struggling to make it day-to-day instead of a family or couple or team working together to achieve goals – even if the goals are to get a healthy dinner on the table and the dishes done every night this week.

Practice Random (Small) Acts of Kindness

We can be so busy that we miss life on so many levels.  There are times when life can be a struggle.  We’ve all been through those times.  But, life should not always be a struggle and sometimes we are so preoccupied with getting through the day that we miss out on beauty, wonder and kindness.

I challenge you – For the next week, NOTICE.  Notice the various ways that other people make you feel better and how you can make others feel better.  Add a little grease to the mix and see if things don’t seem a bit better.