photo credit: conner395

Have you ever been disappointed at not reaching your goal but somehow found that you were delighted with the outcome anyway?

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for?

— Robert Browning

We recently experienced an extraordinary week of rain here in sunny California.  And when the weather forecasters declared an end to the onslaught, I decided to indulge in the luxury of taking my car to the carwash.  I had an hour to wait so I went for a walk on the river trail.  My goal: To the bridge and back.

Disappointment

I didn’t get as far as I expected. At the half hour mark, hoping to catch a glimpse of the bridge, I pushed on… and then on some more… but the bridge continued to hide “just around the bend.”  With time ticking, I realized I wasn’t going to get to the bridge – and, disappointed that I’d missed my goal, I reluctantly turned and double-timed it back to the carwash where my clean car awaited me.

I guess it’s human nature to be disappointed when we don’t get as far as we expected. I remember when, back in my corporate days as a sales manager, one of my rookie sales people aimed to be “Top Sales Leader of the Year”. He really put his heart and soul into it.  He came in second.

That’s when it pays to remember:

We aim above the mark to hit the mark.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Delight

Yes, I was disappointed that I had to turn around before I got to the bridge; I’d missed my goal. Yet I was delighted with my outcomes!

Obviously, the bridge was much farther away than I thought it was. I never even got close enough to see the bridge.  Yet my pedometer said I’d racked up more than three miles round trip – 50% better than the two miles I’d aspired to walk!

And, in addition to the going the greater distance, I thoroughly enjoyed my Saturday morning along the river trail which was in its after-the-deluge glory. Here in drought-ridden So-Cal all our riverbeds are really just dry flood channels, so the raging waters were a rare sight and the sounds were incredible.  Green trees stood inundated by the roaring torrents of muddied water and erosion from nearby hills. Blue skies and fluffy white clouds created a BIG sky that we don’t see very often around here.

How could I have so significantly underestimated the distance to the bridge?  Well, funny how that happens: I usually drive the distance, not walk it!  Reminds me of an old family adage from our backpacking days:

Never trust a man on a horse when he says “it’s not far.”

Just as I’d mis-estimated the distance to the bridge, the rookie salesman had not taken his competitors into account – not the least of them being the well-established and previous winner of Sales Leader award.  She had the contacts, the skills and the habits that supported her achievements and successes.  He was a newbie still wet-behind-the-ears and learning as he went. That he managed to come in second was a miracle in itself.

That’s Life

When we begin a quest, we really “don’t know what we don’t know”.  We’re blissfully ignorant of the pitfalls awaiting us. That’s probably a good thing because if we knew how hard it was going to be, we might not embark on the quest at all.  So we learn as we go.

This is the lesson I learned on my river walk:

Remember that the goal and the desired outcome are not necessarily the same.

Setting “the bridge” as my goal was really quite arbitrary, a means to an end – it set the mark and kept me going.  But what I really wanted – my desired outcome – was to enjoy the beauty of the “raging” river, get some invigorating exercise and make my wait at the carwash enjoyable.  I achieved all those things.  I just didn’t get to the bridge.

So too with the goal of becoming “top sales leader”: That young man wanted to become a skilled, recognized salesman in record time, to make lots of money, to excel within the sales force and have some fun along the way.  He more than accomplished all those things.  Being number one was an arbitrary goal that “pulled” him toward all the benefits he aspired to… and it worked – he got the outcomes he coveted.  And, you know what – the next year he won the “Top Sales Leader of the Year” award!

Celebrate the Wins, Ban the Might-Have-Beens

I guess it really is the journey that counts.  Enjoy your walk through this life… you might not get as far as you expected but I’ll bet, all in all, you accomplish more than you thought you could!

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.

— Greg Anderson

Have you ever been disappointed at not reaching your goal but somehow found that you were delighted with the outcome anyway?