How are those resolutions going? Do you, like me, need a fresh start, a new beginning in order to persist in reaching your goals?
Life never presents us with anything which may not be looked upon as a fresh starting point, no less than as a termination.
— Andre Gide
Monday Morning
It’s Monday morning and I’m dressed, ready to go out for my walk – yet here I am, writing this post instead. Lately it’s been a challenge to get myself out for my morning walk. And an even tougher task to eat in ways that cause me to shed pounds.
Not too long ago I was cruising along doing both with ease. No such luck now. I can come up with every excuse in the book for not going out first thing in the morning. And my sweet-tooth plagues me.
This has GOT to turn around. Now would be a good time. I need a fresh start at this losing weight and getting fit stuff. I’m barely holding my own here. And it’s waaaaaay too soon to be in maintenance mode.
Could writing this post serve as my launch pad to “a new beginning”? If I make “Just do it”, or “JIT” for short, my not-so-original mantra, will it help me bounce back from this sense of failure? Can I begin anew? Can I do it? We’ll see.
Fast Forward — Tuesday Late Evening…
Do it I did. For a very short while. JIT got me out the door and walking – I actually racked up more than 11,000 steps yesterday! But today’s steps leave a lot to be desired. And JIT prodded me into preparing the right foods. But despite my best intentions and a really good start at “eating right”, the siren call of the Thrifty’s® Chocolate Chip Ice Cream in the freezer lured me from virtuous-eater to binge-eater this afternoon. Suddenly I was worse off than before my JIT resolve kicked in! What good is that?
Then, wouldn’t you know it, this evening, these two questions showed up in my field of vision, one from the internet and one from a prayer group I recently joined:
Why do we wait to hit bottom?
When was a time you resisted a wake-up call to accept a new experience in your life?
— Quest
Do you get the feeling the universe is trying to tell me something? Perhaps such questions have always been out there for me to see and answer, but suddenly I’m aware when before I wasn’t. Am I seeing with new eyes, new purpose? Yes indeed. Teachers do appear when I need them. Mary Niles goes on to say:
That doesn’t mean that we cannot recognize when we are on a downward slide – when we are in a space that feels rocky and uncomfortable – and recognize that we need to take action in order to change course. That is probably a more useful story to tell ourselves.
So I’ve been doing some more thinking and reading about fresh starts and, along with that, I’ve been asking myself the question:
What’s it going to take to get me on track, how do I begin again?
Back on Track
Well, if you’re a regular with BouncebackCafe.com, you know what I did next. I went searching in my library of helpful authors, looking for guidance. I didn’t find a magic technique to jump start my “fresh start” but I did find some food for thought.
Apparently I’ve awakened my “resistance” – that part of me that wants to protect me from all my hair-brained ideas – and I’m going to have to back off and let that resistance calm down. In essence I’ve provoked a survival instinct when none is needed.
Here’s my paraphrased version of the surprising, “change course” advice I gleaned not only from Maria Niles, but from two of Barbara Sher’s books (I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was and Live the Life You Love)…
What’s called for now is a more subtle approach AND perhaps some introspective insight into why getting fit and losing weight have triggered this resistance. (Meaning, something’s scared me off – and I don’t quite know what or why. But I’m beginning to figure it out.) In the meantime, on to the subtle approach. Sher recommends a stop/start strategy:
Stop for a while, or, if you do anything, do something so small that it won’t kick up your resistance – let your resistance lull itself to sleep again.
I’m going to interpret this to mean that I can take a break from berating myself for not getting up-and-out-walking every morning. I’ll find opportunities to get my steps in other ways, through some just-getting-from-here-to-there jaunts. Like joining my friends for a Starbucks indulgence, but walk, don’t drive… going to the mall with no money and just “looking”… parking out in the hinterland… Got any more ideas for me? Let me know!
And I’ll stop “depriving” myself of sweets. Sweets are back – Yay. Maybe I’ll even substitute dessert for dinner once in a while… buy single portion treats… buy an ice cream flavor I like but don’t love so I’ll be less tempted to “eat the whole thing”… or go to Cold Stone Creamery – dare I do that? Sure, their “Like It”® size is small but generous and, let’s face it, it’s too expensive to do very often! (Now if it were only close enough to consider walking there.) Again, send me your creative ideas on how to make this work.
The “Start” part of Sher’s change course strategy looks like this:
Start doing something you love that will help you expand your enjoyment and sense of fulfillment.
Ah… add more fun to the mix and see if that soothes my sweet tooth and tames my don’t-wanna-walk demon – interesting concept! I think I’ll carve out a place and time to play with my art projects instead of letting them languish in my carry-bag… I’ll go out with my camera looking for interesting sights to record… treat myself to another interesting “enrichment” class, a new one I’ve been wanting to take… start dancing around the house to those Zumba® DVDs I bought but haven’t really played with yet. Or do the rumba as I prepare my meals! And, since I’m not trying to fit in a walk every morning, I’ll have the time.
Yes, I Shall
Yes, I’m willing to play with this more subtle Stop/Start approach to achieving my long term goal of fitness and good health, at least for a while. I’ll be a bit round-about as I begin again.
- Steps is steps. So I’ll plan interesting outings that include lots of “steps”. (Yes, I know aerobic steps are better for achieving my ultimate goal but, at least for now, not my problem.)
- And calories is calories. So I give myself new permissions – nothing is on the forbidden foods list, it’s about portion control and choices, not deprivation. (And, yes, I know that “natural” foods are better for achieving my ultimate goal than processed foods but, again, at least for now, not my problem. – Resistance, are you listening to me???)
- And I’ll feed my appetite with new fun – by adding an interesting class with new ideas, new acquaintances, new experiences, and by doing more of the fun stuff I’ve already been enjoying.
Hmmmm… It could work. I think so.
And, come to think of it, I suppose I’m simply taking my own advice from my previous post – I now have a Plan B, alternatives that may provide me with a fail-safe fallback plan.
Do You Need a Fresh Start Too?
If sneaking around your resistance doesn’t appeal to you, here’s some similar but more direct advice from ZenHabits.net:
To reinvent the way you live:
- Let go.
- Decide what matters most today.
- Clear away distractions and focus.
- Find happiness now.
- Reinvent yourself, every day.
Begin again. Just do it, but do it a bit differently this time. Call it a change of course if you must. Destination the same, re-routed due to resistance…
And, as you begin again, keep the big picture in sight – think upon these words:
Step off into another direction… Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the road which lies ahead and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the road back uninviting-inviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that one as well.
— Maya Angelou
Persist quietly and subtly, but persist. Begin again and enjoy the journey.
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