NED – “no evidence of disease” is what we expected to hear after the latest, now routine round of tests. Instead, we heard, “it appears there is disease here.” Esophageal cancer is hard to beat down but we thought my husband’s surgery and two chemotherapy regimens, completed a year ago, had beat it down. It had. For a short while. But it is back.

We weren’t expecting this news. And it knocked us for a loop. (Ya think??) We’re still in a state of shock, trying to make sense out of what appears to be a death sentence. But so it was, back in the Fall of 2007, and he managed to beat it down then. And even though last year’s chemo threw him in the hospital for eleven days, he’s signed-on for doing chemo again. That takes guts, let me tell you!

Spontaneous remissions have been known to happen. And with my husband’s valiant spirit, the help of doctors and medical science, the prayers of many, and God’s good grace, maybe he can beat this cancer down again. Maybe not. We hold less hope now. Not hopelessness. Just less hope. Augmented with lots of love and support from family, friends, prayers and faith.

So we’ve kicked into high gear, doing what needs to be done next – we’ve notified family & friends, scheduled and completed more tests plus the surgical implant of a porta-cath to ease the administration of the first infusion of a new, powerful chemotherapy regimen. And, thanks to our daughter who still had the playlist on her computer, he’s recreated his visualization CD: the William Tell overture in versions from classic to rock to guitar and even banjo! He’s rallying the troops to fight the good fight.

Everything’s Changed and Nothing’s Changed

How long do we have? Nobody knows. No doctor will hazard a guess. But we know now. Our time is much shorter than we thought. Life goes on demanding our participation anyway.

So we’ll see what we can do to bounce back from this bad news while we continue to do what needs to be done to come to terms. And as we do, we’ll try to remember to savor all of today’s blessings including – after all this – we’re still standing!