photo credit: MrVJTod

How about it, will you do your ABC’s for 48 hours?

PattiAnn and I used to be (well I guess we still are) experts on sales and service performance improvement.  That was our niche.  What caused us to shift our focus to resilience?

Going From Hero to Zero

Well, if you are lucky enough to know and love sales or service people, you’re familiar with the daunting tasks they face: they search for and secure elusive new business, soothe the inevitable irate customers, satisfy the demands of anxious managers, overcome all the quirks and foibles of their company’s operational systems and, despite all their dedication and perseverance, they go from hero to zero on the first day of every month! That’s pretty darn discouraging.  So, to serve our customers better, PattiAnn and I hunted for and found better bounceback solutions to help them with their daily heapings of adversities.

Tumbling Over Our Tipping Point

One very important book tumbled us over our tipping point and ignited our passion for learning about optimism, happiness, bounce back and resilience.  And that book was Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism, How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.  Seligman’s findings – that we all can learn how to use optimism to rise above adversity – gave PattiAnn and me the impetus to make Resilience our new focus. And we committed ourselves to expanding our research, to ferreting out the knowledge, skills and techniques that would enable us and others to hold fast and thrive in the face of adversity.

Everyone Faces Daily Adversities

Sales & Service people aren’t the only ones facing daily adversities.  All of us everywhere — teachers, truck drivers, nurses, small business owners, trainers, analysts, soldiers, paramedics, retirees, hair stylists, bus drivers, accountants, property managers, students, doctors, government workers, social workers, dental hygienists, law enforcement personnel, parents, sons, daughters – we all face discouragement each and every day.  And we all can learn to use optimism to hold fast and thrive in the face of adversity.

Optimism is as Easy as A-B-C-D-E

Now to be accurate, Seligman teaches that optimism is as easy as using a simple A-B-C-D-E formula:

A = Adversity

First we have to recognize that we’ve interpreted something in our life as a “bad” happening, and that we have, unconsciously, named it an adversity.

For instance, earlier today: I wasn’t paying attention when the auto-fill feature on my email filled in a name and I sent a private document to a virtual stranger!  Oops, bad news for me.

B = Beliefs

And we must then discover the habitual beliefs we hold about ourselves and our adversity.  You’ll hear those beliefs in your self-talk.

So, can’t you just hear me saying to myself, after the email fiasco: That always happens to me.  I just can’t seem to do anything right, me and software don’t get along… yada, yada, yada.

C = Consequences

This is when we need to ask about the consequences of continuing to hold those beliefs – and whether we want to live with such consequences of believing those negative beliefs.

So here’s Ellie ruminating about consequences and the email fiasco: OK, if I can’t get along with software, can’t even use a simple email function, then  I’d best just quit using the computer and go back to pen and paper.  Ye Gads!  Horror!  So, is that how I want to carry on, messing up every time I try to do something on the ’puter??? No, not really.

D = Distract & Dispute

If the consequences of believing are unacceptable, then we must distract ourselves from spiraling into the negative consequences by mentally shouting to ourselves, STOP! Then, and only then do we have a chance to dispute the veracity of our negative beliefs.

STOP, Ellie!  Get hold of yourself, this is ridiculous, get a grip!  You simply weren’t paying attention and that’s a lot different than not being able to get along with software.  You do all sorts of wonderful things with software, and enjoy super capabilities you wouldn’t have without software!  And when you get flummoxed, you have many resources to help you.  Chill!

E = Energize

Once we’ve begun to realize that we can doubt and dispute our negative beliefs, then we can energize ourselves to find positive ways to bounce back from the original adversity.

So, Ellie, SLOW DOWN.  Pay attention, especially when sending private papers.  Now, who did you send the private info to? And was it really that private, that critical?  More than likely it went into their spam filter and they won’t see it anyway. There’s more to life than these stupid little annoyances. Whatever, fix it and move on.

Start Yourself on the Road to Learned Optimism

Concentrate on just the ABC’s of the formula:

• Notice when you interpret something as an Adversity.
• Turn up your self-talk volume – hear your negative Beliefs loud and clear.
• And then ask yourself:  What are the Consequences of acting as if those beliefs were true?

Do Your ABC’s for the Next 48 Hours

Yes, it’s worth the effort.  Seligman’s ideas are soundly researched, proven practices.  They’ll help you bounce back from the big and small adversities you face on a daily basis.  Give yourself the gift of working your ABC’s.

And, yes, you can keep going with your own Distract & Dispute and Engergize if you want… I won’t tell.

How about it, will you commit to doing your ABC’s for the next 48 hours?