photo credit: A6U571N

Where do you look for next year’s resolutions?  Do you have a better idea?

And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car.  And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are…

— MeatLoaf

I find myself thinking about 2010 as a fresh new year, a clean slate on which to paint my best intentions.  I, like everyone else, want a happy and satisfying life and am willing to do the work it takes to make it so.

But as much as I long to embrace all that 2010 has to offer, this last year’s events weigh heavy on my heart – the death of my beloved husband looms-large in my rearview mirror.  And clouds my future-vision.  Still, I know it’s time for me to create a new vision – to fill-in the details of a new life – my new life – and to fill it with new purpose.

And I reluctantly conclude that Andy Warhol was right when he said:

They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

Can I Get There from Here?

Many years ago, while on a business trip, a friend offered to pick me up “at the airport”.  She also stated unequivocally, “we can’t get to the airport from here, so take the hotel shuttle to one of the local hotels and we’ll pick you up there.”  Huh?   Yet, as ridiculous as that sounds, it makes perfect sense to me right now: I know in my heart that there’s got to be a way to create a new life-plan but my field of vision just fogs up; I’m a little bit stuck in what was and this rearview mirror clouds my future-vision… I’m in a thinking rut and I’m out of step with what is.

Here’s a silly example of a thinking rut I once got stuck in… a rut that caused me to unconsciously operate as if nothing had changed long after circumstances had changed:

Once upon a time I traveled a lot on business and by necessity I lived out of a suitcase.  I flew out Monday morning for the East Coast and flew home Thursday night.  Three weeks out of four.  So I reserved a prominent space for my suitcase which needed replenishment every weekend – clean clothes, replacement toiletries etc.  Well, one day I was looking at that shelf with the empty suitcase upon it and realized – I was no longer traveling on business and hadn’t been for almost a year!  Yet the suitcase still sat upon this shelf… space-wise and attention-wise the suitcase and all the travel-chaos it represented held visual prominence in my life.  (Remember, I’m an out of sight, out of mind kind of thinker.)  That’s when I finally cleared the space to make room for something else.

Yes, that’s an extreme but typical example of me being stuck in a thinking rut, of using my rearview mirror to see into my future.  Kinda silly when you think about it.

Well, this time I’m not waiting for an AHA-moment to finally get out of my thinking rut.  I’m not waiting and hoping that time will change things.  I’m going to start NOW to change things for myself.

What You Think About Expands

I have a clever toy that goes by the name of Hoberman Sphere which magically starts as a small prickly ball and then, with a gentle stretch, transforms into a HUGE, open sphere.  I’ve often thought this wondrous toy demonstrates the idea that we can, quite literally, through our continued attention, expand our lives with new ideas and endeavors.  And, assuming that’s true, we need to carefully and intentionally direct our thinking time, our concentration and focus to those things we want to have more of in our lives – NOT on those things we don’t want or for whatever reason, can no longer have.

So it’s time for me to look away from the rearview mirror.  It’s eyes-forward time.  Time for me to think, to concentrate, to focus on wondering how 2010 can become my year to re-invent myself. Time to open my heart to new and interesting futures.

And, to help me so that, I am once again dipping into my own library of books – this time I’m going to study Now What – 90 Days to a New Life Direction by Laura Berman Fortgang.  I think it can help me discover my very own new life dreams.  I’m hoping that, like a Hoberman Sphere, I can expand my heart to embrace the adventure that lies before me.

And, with a happier heart, I will begin to heed Alan Watts’ advice:

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

I’m puttin’ on my dancing shoes – so, 2010, cha cha cha!

Where do you look for next year’s resolutions?  Do you have a better idea?