photo credit: JeffChristiansen

What are your stories and how can you extend the gift of hope to others who are struggling?

The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber.  Their bottoms are made out of springs.  They’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy.  Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.  But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is – I’m the only one!

Last week while visiting the maternity floor of our local hospital, I delighted in the joyful whispers and grins of new grandparents, the anxious and weary exchanges of new moms & dads, the lusty squalling of new babes, and the quiet calm of nurses dispensing words of wisdom.

And, after rejoicing that I didn’t have to take any of these bundles of joy home to my house, I indulged in a little nostalgia and recalled the sheer terror I felt (four decades ago) knowing that very soon the little mysterious babe in my arms would depend on me for her daily needs. Inadequate doesn’t begin to describe my sense of self.

And then a nurse’s murmur brought me out of my reverie as she said, “All mothers…

Well, darn it all, I didn’t catch the rest of her comment and spent a bit of a while wondering what came after… all mothers what???

And that’s when I realized that most of us non-Tiggers take great comfort in finding out that we’re NOT the only ones who… feel inadequate…. get angry and frustrated… fall off the diet-wagon… hate our eyes, smile, hair, hips, height, legs, feet, hands… don’t know what to do… are afraid…

Why is it that knowing we aren’t the only ones helps us feel better, helps us carry on?  I think it’s because it means that other people must have survived and even thrived in the face of whatever challenges we now face.  And if they could do it, well then, maybe I can too.

Stories Teach Us

Stories remind us that we are all in this together and, contrary to how I might feel as a new mother, or new worker, or new student, or new artist or new friend, other people have walked this path before me. There’s wisdom to be gleaned.  I don’t have to know it all.  I can seek and listen to other people’s history, to other people’s experience and wisdom.  And that’s a comfort to me.  Other people’s stories often carry messages of hope and possibilities.  They give us roadmaps to revise to fit our own circumstances.  And alternatives to consider and adopt or not.

I suspect the reason we so enjoy all the social media that connects us these days is because we have instant access to each other’s stories – simply going to an appropriate site and asking, “Have others felt this way?” puts us in touch with a passel of experiences to consider and weigh and compare to our own.  And those of us who respond are offering a gift to others, often strangers, to help them cope with some of life’s challenges and at the same time, validating for ourselves that we’re “OK”.

This brings me new understanding of the time-proven sales technique called “Feel, Felt, Found.”  It’s used to respond to a customer’s objection and goes like this:  “I can understand why you would feel that way.  Others have felt that way too.  And here’s what they’ve found.”

Yes, now I get it – I get why it works: Because we’re all looking for reassurance that we’re not in this alone, that others have trod this way and have made it through successfully.

What are your stories and how can you extend the gift of hope to others who are struggling?