photo credit: carrinated

Years and years ago (synonymous with I don’t really know when but it was a looong time ago), I heard Jack Canfield speak.  He is co-author of the Chicken Soup books.  He said that his ideal job would be to get paid to learn about stuff and then teach it to others.  When he said that, I thought “THAT’S what I want to do.”  One of the best things about writing a blog is that I get to do that.  I read and learn new stuff and Presto Change-o, I get the opportunity to share the new things that I learn.

Recently, I was reading about visualization.  I’m an auditory person and if by visualization you mean building pictures in my mind, good luck.  My unique talent is being able to rewind what someone has said – that I didn’t catch – in my head, and figure out what it was.  I don’t know how I do this, I just know that before they can respond to my “excuse me,” I’ve figured out what they said. (This is probably not unique; it’s possible that lots of auditory people can also do this.)

Picture Problem

What I struggle with is building pictures in my mind.  You could say I have a “picture problem”.  AND unfortunately, most techniques for creating change in your life include a step about motivation or picturing how things will be once you’ve made the change.

In Cash in a Flash by Robert G. Allen and Mark Victor Hansen, they suggest a technique called virtualization.  When you create a virtualization, you are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling the outcome you want.  To make a visualization effective, it needs to be as realistic as possible.  To do this I needed to fill in the details of my picture.  The idea of using all my senses struck me as a possible way around my “picture problem.”

Not the Dentist!!!

Allen and Hansen made a true believer of me when they pointed out that “Most of us experience our fears in all five senses!”  WOW!  That had never occurred to me, but on reflection, I know it’s true.  Let’s take an example that most of us can really identify with… the dentist.  After flying, dental work is one of the most fear provoking experiences in my life.  One reason for that is because I’ve inherited my father’s horrible teeth, and all the dental work that came with them. (I also inherited my mother’s horrible eyesight, but Lasik fixed that.)

What sets off my radar?  The SMELL!!!  When you walk into most dental offices, they have a very distinctive smell, it’s not unpleasant except for the memories it invokes.  The SOUNDS!!!  Oy, the drill – it sets my teeth on edge, you should excuse the expression.  The TASTE!!!  Nothing tastes like the compound in the fillings or the topical anesthetic they use right before they stick you with the BIG NEEDLE.  The SIGHTS!!!  Have you ever noticed their tools – and they set them out so the dentist can use them and you can see just how sharp they are.  The FEELING as they tip you upside down in the chair while they are working on you.  With my allergies, that alone sets my head spinning.

OK, so when it comes to fear, I can virtualize up a storm – and that’s Allen and Hansen’s point.  Most of us spend so much time thinking about what we fear that we have very detailed “experiences” of our fears.  AND we don’t put nearly as much time in on creating an experience of what we do want. (Would you now like me to scare you to death about flying?  I can, you know.)

Anything But the Dentist!!!

Our bodies can’t tell the difference between our virtualization and reality.  Our bodies react as if what we are visualizing is real.

Which brings us to the real question, are you spending more time building castles in the air or burning them down?  If you’re spending lots of time seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling your fears, you’re putting your body into fight or flight.  Your stress hormones flood the system and you feel anxious.  AND now you’re in a spiral that leaves you feeling worse and CERTAIN that the bad thing will occur.  (Remember, our left brain will create a story to support whatever we give it.)

To stop this downward spiral, we need to replace it with something positive and flood our system with the associated “feel good” hormones.  Getting started on eliminating the fear cycle is as easy as virtualizing something that made you really happy.  Replace your “mental experience” of what you fear with a detailed “experience” of something your enjoyed.

What were the sounds, the sights, the smells?  Look at pictures of the event if you have them.  Then expand into your other senses.  What tastes do you associate with the occasion?  Where were you walking or sitting?  What were you wearing?  How did that feel to you?

Fear-Less!!!

This is somewhat different from what Ellie wrote about in Acting As If.  She was giving you a technique which helped you to feel genuinely happy, so you could smile, which fed your physiology of feeling good and helped to keep the good feeling happening.

With this virtualization technique, we have two goals in mind —

• Reduce the strength of your fears by spending less time “experiencing them” and more time “experiencing” good stuff.
• Use your memories to practice virtualizing so later you can use this technique to “imagineer” your life.

(I believe that imagineer is a Disney term for how they come up with their wonderfully creative ideas.)

The best way to escape our fear is to focus on something else.  The next step will be to virtualize the future.  For now, start replacing those old fearful visions with happy memories.  Spend more time virtualizing happiness and then you will be able to FEAR LESS.