photo credit: Todd Baker << technowannabe

In The Life You’ve Always Wanted, John Ortberg describes bath time with his kids. When he took his daughter out of the tub, she ran in circles singing “dee dah day, dee dah day”, doing the dance she does when her joy is so big that she just can’t hold it in any more. Being a goal oriented adult, he almost missed this joyful celebration by insisting that she hurry over so he could dry her off. She stopped and, looking straight at him, asked the question every adult dreads, “Why?” Upon reflection, he really couldn’t give her an answer. He was just trying to get bath time finished. He had nowhere to go. Nothing he needed to do. He was just being a goal-oriented adult.

Ortberg was making a point about how mindlessly we adults hurry up – just because it’s what we do. And in the meantime, we can miss much of the joy of life. When children are happy, they let you know, in no uncertain terms, at top speed and often at the top of their lungs. Unless we make a point of stopping, not just to smell the roses, but to celebrate the little moments in life, we hurry right by them.

I’m certainly guilty of this often. I have a bottom line personality. “What’s your point?” is what I think or say, aware that time’s a wastin’. I can be so pinpoint-focused that I miss the stuff I really like. The other day I noticed that my lilacs are blooming in the back yard.

You need to understand that I don’t live in a lilac-friendly climate. There are NO cold snaps here and I like it that way. But I LOVE lilacs and getting lilac blossoms in my back yard is just short of a call-the-Vatican miracle. And yet, I hadn’t made time to go out and smell the lilacs. So today, I made a point of going out to smell the lilacs. They were WONDERFUL!

What Does This Have to Do With Resilience?

Now, I know that you’ve been told to “smell the roses” so many times that your really don’t want to hear it again, but let me make a small case for how taking time to appreciate the good things in life helps build your resilience muscle. (Bet you didn’t know you had a resilience muscle, but it’s right there, between your ears.)

I don’t need to tell you that none of us gets to avoid the bad times. Building our resilience muscle is what we do so we can tolerate the bad times. In Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey says that every relationship has an emotional savings account. You have to make deposits in the emotional savings account before you can take withdrawals. And you need to keep the account in balance or the relationship can get into trouble.

The same is true with building your resilience muscle. You have to put good stuff in to build the resilience muscle, just like you need good stuff to build your physical muscles. Noticing beauty, experiencing joy, reading uplifting books, magazines and blogs; listening to motivational recordings and keeping a gratitude journal are all things that you can do to build your resilience muscle mass. These are the same things that you do to maintain a sense of balance in your life.

photo credit: ~Sage~

The more balanced you can be, the better you are able to deal with adversity. Just like physical balance requires strength, mental balance also requires strength. When you are physically off balance, it’s easier to knock you over. When you’re mentally off balance, it’s easier for small problems to throw you off balance?

So, create a “Dee Dah” Day for yourself. Smell the lilacs. Notice the sky. Dance to music you love. Reconnect with an old friend. Paint. Eat chocolate. Take photos. Do some beach reading… whatever refreshes your soul and gives you strength for one more day.

Tell us about your “Dee Dah” experience. Maybe it’s something we could try.