photo credit: peasap

photo credit: sunsets_for_you

photo credit: photofarmer

Every now and then, go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer.  Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.

— Leonardo da Vinci

I don’t know about you but no matter how much I “want to change” these days, I’ve figured out that I don’t necessarily want to change, I just want to have different results from my current behavior.  Actually, I feel as if I’ve been trying to “change” forever and the more I change the more things stay the same. As I think about this feeling, I realize that I am deep in my bones tired.  It’s not a physical feeling, it’s an emotional feeling.  I also know that if I work at it, I can get myself into a better state… I just don’t feel like working at it right now.  I’m deep in my bones TIRED.  One of the problems with writing a resilience blog is that, at least in theory, I should never just wallow until I feel better. (There’s that dang “should” again!) You see, I know that when I’ve overdone it what I need is a reading/movies/napping vacation.  Depending on what’s going on at home, I may or may not need to run away (literally or figuratively) but I do need to take a break. So just in case you’re not sure if you need a break or not, here are five signs that it’s time to take time for you.

1. The sun is shining and you don’t care.  This morning I woke up and saw the beautiful, bright sunlight and thought, *#@!%, just go away and let me sit.  Never a good sign.
2. Things that usually make you feel happy result in the grumpies.  I took the dog for a walk and listened to TD Jakes’ Making Great Decisions.  And it is a beautiful day and STILL I couldn’t get out of the grumpies.  I usually enjoy Reverend Jakes, but today I just wanted to tell him to go stuff himself and considering that it’s just an MP3 player, he wouldn’t have heard me anyway.
3. You feel like you need to get things done but you keep “nibbling around the edges.”  A friend sent me a link to a Pit Bull Rescue with lots of inspiring stories about dogs that had been rescued and became assistance dogs, therapy dogs and rescue dogs.  On any other day, the stories would have perked me up and given me a lift, but today, not so much.  At some point, after following various dog links, I’d watched so many dog videos that I realized I was procrastinating.  OOPS!  (BTW, this video is a great example of a dog which loves his “work.”  Take a look at Wallace the Pit Bull.)
4. You have no interest in going anywhere or doing anything.  I looked at the movie listings and none of them inspired me to get in the car and go see them.  Based on how I feel, I’m not sure anything could.
5. You “circle.”  My particular version of this goes something like… there are two or three things that I need to get done and I keep going from one to the other and not getting anything done.  I don’t ever seem to make a decision about which to do.  I just “wander” back and forth – in most cases, wasting time.

Ok, if you met 3 or more (pick a number) of these signs, it’s time to admit it.  You’ve got a short-term case of burn out.  It’s time to figure out what you need to do and I don’t mean trying a new technique for changing your state.  It’s time to fall back on tried and true ways to “REST UP.  For me it can mean:

• Finding a good “beach read” and immersing myself in it.
• Giving myself permission to do NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
• Cuddle with the cat or dog – in front of the television or with a book.
• Ignore the phone, email, snail mail and dog park.  My baby will survive one day without the neighbor dogs.
• Talking to one of my neighbors and feeling grateful that I don’t have responsibility to take anyone to softball, basketball, soccer, volleyball or a football game.  That alone can make me feel soooo lucky!
• Trust the process.  When I’m in the middle of it, I often wonder if I’ll ever feel like working again.  I’ve learned to just tell myself not to worry – it’ll be OK – and it always has been.
• Clean something.  Sometimes what I really need is to just get away from “work” and get to work – physically.  Mop the floor.  Clean the bathroom.  Dust the living room.  And sometimes, it’s the last thing I want to do.  I’d rather sit in the “squalor” than actually do work.

Actually, the best approach for me is to do a little of each.  Mix ‘em all up and after a while, I feel the urge to do something PRODUCTIVE.  Sometimes the urge passes quickly, but if it doesn’t – I’M BACK! And ready to get going. So, try it yourself.  Ready… set… RELAX!